Nile

leena aboutaleb

Sea-sweet breeze, the ruins of Alexandria
on the film set. I’m looking for our way out
of this nightmare. I’ve stabbed my heart
in the middle of the Nile, my declaration
of intent. I’ve lost my mother’s rings in the swell
of mountain. Amman, the thief; Amman, the refuge;
I hid away from my city, covered myself under rivers
to avoid the hunt for my body. I love you, I know,
but let me be terrified.
Let me wear my fear like the bravery it is.
I’m so in love with our nightmares,
our monsters are lovers,
& each breaking bond makes me more
beautiful. What else could I ever be?
Let me die here, with you, in the middle
of our home. Never let it go again.
I asked what is an Egyptian but a choice?
I drank from the Nile and became her,
drowned in the belly and body of my country,
let it eat until not even marrow was left.
Greedy, gaze sharp–the ache of my land.
I can never get all the dust off me.
I never want to.

leena aboutaleb is an Egyptian and Palestinian writer who asks you to commit to the Palestinian liberation struggle. Her pamphlet, Expeditions of Projection, was released in 2023 (VIBE). Her film, ‘Oracle,’ co-produced with Youssef ElNahas debuted in Venice, 2025. She is a Brooklyn Poets fellow, a Kundiman fellow and Tin House scholar. Read her work at www.leenaboutaleb.onl.